Splish Splash, it's a (pre)birthday bash!
It was Samuel Pepys, one of the great munificent minds of late 1986, author of over six bestsellers including "A Cobbler's Guide To Anal" and the living inspiration for archetypal Englishman Nicholas Lyndhurst's diabolically womb-ripening performance as time
travelling bigamist Gary Sparrow, who so proudly and originally trumpeted the truism that one should "Never trust a DJ under 40". In these times of hubristic paddle steaming from all sections of society, this has never been more true.
Even as our knee bends calcify and the tenebrous patches creep across the scan like mould; as everything we love and have ever loved is completely, (and with a sniper's accuracy), surmised, mocked, dismissed and dissolved in a single meme depicting a pixelated cartoon duck wearing a suspicious look and a Hawaiian shirt by an unemployable 23 year old in the process subconsciously slipping into totalitarianism, and even in the moment where a historically concealed half inch of arse-crack peaks out afresh to enjoy the breeze and the music of the rhythmical popping of cartilage made during the devotional huff'n'puff as we genuflect, contrite, to hoist our record sacks up to the specially placed pub chair, the fire of our love for the dance only gets stronger, burning with a greater heat and a brighter light than it ever did before.
As David and Charlie's 40th's fall a few days after this exciting episode of Loosen Up! We're cordially inviting everyone to come join us at the Rummy for a pre-fifth decade decadence dance aff.
P.S. None of the above applies to our beautiful boy Fergus of course, with his skin like a baby lily floating in a velvet pond and his face like the sunrise over a wildflower meadow replete with gamboling lambs. He's still what the tabloids cloyingly refer to as a tot, with nary 17 tender summers behind him and a dazzling future in front.
P.P.S. Not to be confused with David's other party nearer the day itself, or the Japanese crying ceremony Charlie's holding at the Corinthian, these are separate events, advertised separately.